Pleasing others is a good thing, right...?

To a degree and in moderation but typically with ADHD we tend to overdo it just a little.

OK, let's be honest. We tend to overdo it way too much. So much so that in order to do things for ourselves, to give ourselves space, to practice self-care, to even meet our basic needs, many of us have to pro-actively (and forcefully!) set the intention to self-serve. In order to get out of our default mode of people-pleasing, some of us even need to go so far as to tell ourselves "I need to be selfish!". Certainly not ideal, but for many, the only way we can actually put ourselves first sometimes (usually when we have reached breaking point). Its not healthy or sustainable and makes for a confusing narrative - both for us and our family, friends and colleagues. One minute we are hosting the party, the next, we are holed up at home, too exhausted to even attend.

Do I often agree to requests without considering my own needs or schedule?
Is it difficult for me to say “no” when asked for favours?
Do I feel responsible for others’ feelings or reactions?
Am I overly concerned about what others think of me?
Do I often suppress my own opinions or desires to keep the peace?
Is it hard for me to express disagreement or dissatisfaction in relationships?
Do I find myself frequently over-committing or over-extending myself?
Do I feel uncomfortable or guilty when prioritising my own needs?
Am I hesitant to assert my own needs or boundaries?
Do I frequently seek validation or approval from others?